What to do with difficult emotions?
First off, I feel a lot of compassion for those and myself when difficult emotions are overwhelming.
Each person will have their own process for moving through difficult emotions, so there is hardly ever a set process that works for everyone. With that said, here is a few things you could do that come from my practice with parts work and Vipassana meditation. You don’t have to be familiar with any of these things in order to try these things out.
Before you try these steps, have something ready which will help soothe you. This could be a weighted blanket, a reassuring friend, a stuffed animal, a soothing touch, a walk outside, etc. Whenever you do any sort of physical emotional work, its always good to have a tool to help you regulate your emotions in case you get overwhelmed. You don’t want to get stuck in overwhelm.
If these things work for you, GREAT! If they don’t, no sweat. You need something different to help.
Pause what you’re doing even if its just a minute and focus on your breath
Acknowledge the overwhelming feeling in your best caring voice.
Identify where in your body, feels what. The point of this, is to pay close attention to where the difficult emotion arises, increasing awareness and care. Also, with increased awareness of said difficult emotion, you can better learn how to take care of said emotion.
Experiment with naming what emotions you might be feeling. You can guess more accurately by asking yourself a few questions about the feeling state.
If the feeling state had an intention, what might it be? Does it want to curl into a ball? Does it want to throw a tantrum? Does it want to disappear?
Validate your emotions. You could say something like “Of course you feel ________. I’m so sorry you feel this way.”
Stay curious about your emotions and validate until your bodily charge has diminished.
*Note: You can also have someone help you identify these emotions and provide direction. If you ever feel too overwhelmed, use your soothing tool.
